It has been 6 months since I last posted. It has been 6 months since my contract ended. You wonder why what happened? You won't believe it but it has been such an amazing and fruitful journey that I could say this has been the BEST YEAR of my life! Truly, it has been the most season of my life. I followed Jesus without turning back and God has really blessed me TREMENDOUSLY, more than I deserve.

Two months after I went home, I got a call from a manager and offered me a job without any question. She literally offered me a job as a Business Architect and Business Analyst. My heart rejoiced with what the Lord did that I couldn't even sleep. One and a half month after, I made my way back to the US. It was a smooth travel. When I started working, my new manager asked me to create a business process architecture. Like what? What is that again? Architecture? Huh? That is what I was thinking. I am not an architect. I was scared to deliver to the point that I didn't want to go to work anymore. But wait, God gave me this job so that means He knows what He is doing! I prayed tirelessly to the Lord to give me grace everyday and guide me to do the work. Day after day I depended on His grace alone. One month after, I was able to deliver great results and my manager really liked it. Yes, I did it! Not because I am knowledgeable but because my God knows everything. He is with me every step of the way. He is GOOD! So soooo GOOD!!!!

It has been 2 weeks that I have been home. It has not been easy in the beginning but now I am beginning to adjust with my family and understand them more. I have realized that I don't know them that much being away from them for 11 long years. Yes, I have gone home for a vacation multiple times but I didn't have a lot of time to build strong relationships with them. I am grateful for this time that I get to know them more and build a stronger relationship with them. It is truly a blessing to be in the arms of your family. In this world, you can have a lot of money and have the job of your dreams but all of these can turn their back on you. But our families will always be there for us. In good times and bad times, they will never give up on us. I am blessed that we are all together and that we are complete although we miss Papa of course!

For the past 2 weeks, I have still been wondering what would I really do here. Family is not a question. However, what else? Work? Business? School? I don't have a 100% clue yet. I believe in taking one step at a time, one day at a time. Lately, God has opened a door for me to volunteer at a Youth Camp. I was kind of hesitant to join at first since I don't know anybody there. But when I attended the orientation last week, I felt at peace and I truly enjoyed their company. So I look forward to serve in the next couple of days. I have also met with my high school classmate who currently ministers to the street children. I will also see if God calls me there.

I am grateful that slowly, God opened doors for me and I pray that my time here as He will would be victorious for God's name and glory.

Please pray for me. Thank you!

It is 1:38 am and I just put away my stuff to continue packing tomorrow. Two more days and I am leaving. It hasn't hit me yet but I admit it does scare me because I really don't know what to expect. I have been packing and clearing up my room for the past week. I am feeling sickly and tired but God's grace carries me through. For the past few days I have been feeling so loved by so many friends who came to spend time with me, showered me with love and gave me gifts. I really feel so blessed and that truly encourages me and strengthens me. I am very grateful! There is still so much more to do but right after this, I will Zzzzz and rest. Good night and God bless you all!

Today is my last day of work. But contrary to what I thought (and feared to think) I would feel, I feel happy, blessed and excited. I can't explain it but it is beautiful.

This morning, I was reminded that without God I am nothing. With Him, I have everything and that is so true. In this when I wouldn't have a job for a while I feel happy. That is a mystery to me but I am so happy about the way I feel. It is totally from God.

They say "faith doesn't depend on our circumstances but on who God is." Who is God? God is Almighty, Powerful, Strong Tower, Master, Heavenly Father, and many more! Therefore, I have nothing to be afraid of.

Today, He has really blessed me! My team took me for lunch and gave me a monetary gift. It is totally a blessing! Then at night, we were blessed with a free admission to a comedy night at church. God is really showing me that He is with me and that He will never abandon me. It is different to read about it and it is different to actually experience it. It is AMAZING! And I praise Him for that!

I bought my tickets today. I got a cheaper deal and I get the opportunity to travel and see Istanbul, Turkey! Thank You, Lord. You are faithful and true!

I cried my first few tears 2 nights ago when it hit me that I would be away (by distance) from the one I love. I fell asleep with a few tears in my eyes.

I went to work thinking I would have 2 days left before I leave this workplace. As I walk through the corridors, I felt as if people know my predicament and that I am not wanted at all because I didn't get any offers for new opportunities or renewals. I was thinking that when I was in school, I was one of the top students. But here I am, in a few days I will be unemployed (again). I am not used to this. I like being productive and working. Work is a lot of things to me. When I have problems, I distract myself by working very hard. Now, what do I do? In a week I will be going home. What will I do there? How will I face the heat? What will I do during the day? All of these come to mind.

But God! God has bigger plans. God has not left me. And He has shown this through friends. Two nights ago, a few of our friends took me for a PaintNite to celebrate my birthday. Yesterday, a friend texted me saying I came across her mind. Wow! That is truly from God. And God is showing me that it is true when He said "I will never leave you nor forsake you." (Deuteronomy 31:8) In this uncertain time He is with me and "He goes before me. With Him at my right hand I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is GLAD, and my whole being rejoices; My body also rests secure." (Psalm 16:8-9).

When I wake up in the morning, I feel weak and scared but when I look at His word, I am strengthened. Thank You Lord! His word today is, "You make known to me the path of life; in Your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore." Psalm 16:11 Wherever we are, as long as we are in His presence, there we will find pleasures and fullness of joy. 

Peace. I feel so much peace.

At the beginning of the day until the end of the day, my Lord Jesus kept on showering me with His word. His words speaks right through my weak heart and His words truly strengthened me! How amazing is His love.

Everyday, I wake up weak like I have no strength to face the day. But when I open the Bible, His words just gives me life.

"Those who look unto Him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed." Psalm 34:5

"...those who fear have NO LACK! The young lions want and hunger; but THOSE WHO SEEK THE LORD LACK NO GOOD THING." Psalm 34:9b-10

One more week and I will not have any job. As daunting as it may seem especially for a person like me who LOVES to work and loves to plan ahead, I feel peace believing that God will take care of me. Even though I won't have a job in a week, the word of God says that those who seek the Lord lack NO GOOD thing! That means, I don't lack anything. I have everything that I need in Him. What a comfort to hear those words! It gives me goosebumps! I feel His presence. Amazing.

"Many are the afflictions of the righteous but the Lord delivers him out of them all." Psalm 34:19 In this time of afflictions, we are comforted to "be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him." (Psalm 37:7a)

Surely, being in a desert is not easy. At times, it comes knocking on you and you are reminded of your suffering or what you don't have. But in this desert that I am in, I find Jesus and His love showering over me. I believe in one thing: He is faithful. He allows us to face affliction to test us and then to bless us. Do we stand firm? Do we wait patiently unto the Lord? Do we continue to praise Him? I say "YES OF COURSE!" Not because of what we have but because of WHO HE IS no matter where we are.

So... I still don't know what lies ahead but surely it will be one great adventure with God waiting for Him to showcase His glory. For the meantime, serving Him and seeking Him and not compromising it for what the world has to offer. As a matter of fact, what this world has to offer is nothing compared to what God has in store. So we may NOT lose heart and LOVE JESUS more!

Loving the Uncertain

Today, I got a bad news! I didn't get the job I applied and interviewed for and (really) hoping for. I was really looking forward to it and today I saw the update that I was not selected. At first, I thought, "it is okay." I told a few friends about it and they were sad for me. Sometimes, I do want to cry. Thoughts come to my mind. What should I do? I have one week left of my contract. I cannot wait to see my family but what do I do after that? Am I coming back? What will others say to me now, that I should just get married? What will they say to me? Should I pack all my things and tow them away in the storage? I really don't know. I don't know what to do but to TRUST in the LORD. I believe that He is FAITHFUL! I still believe so and my heart still look unto Him even though the circumstances are not in my favor. I believe that He is STILL and will always be faithful.

You see, this is the not first time that I have gone through this. I have been going through these kind of challenges ever since I came to the United States of America. But God always showed up even to the last minute (could be 2 months before my permit expiration date or 2 weeks) but He has always showed up. Now, I have 1 week left but there is no sign of me staying here at all. My heart still praises Him! Because I KNOW He is GOOD! In His Name I trust!

So here I am creating a new blog and writing my journey in loving the uncertain. I don't know what I will be doing and where I will be in the months to come but because I know God has BIGGER plans, I want to write it and share it with you. He is worthy of our TRUST.

"Then shall we know, if we follow on to know the Lord: His going forth is prepared as the morning; and He shall come unto us as the rain, as the latter and former rain unto the earth." Hosea 6:3 KJV

Photo taken from here.